Dear World, It's Me, A Girl

Girls Inc. launched its "Dear World" campaign with the goal of encouraging girls to speak their minds and share their own experiences. Watch this ad to see the campaign in action. The spot is a finalist in the 2009 DoGooder TV Best Nonprofit Video Awards. If you want to help make it a winner, you can vote here in the short-form category.

You can watch all the finalist videos at DoGooder TV, including spots from Step Up Women's Network, Campus Progress, and others. The deadline to vote is April 25th.

cross-posted here.

Fabricating Beauty--It's More Than Just Retouching

I attended a Dove self-esteem workshop for teens last night featuring the amazing Jess Weiner and Courtney Martin. They showed this video, which was developed by the UK eating disorders organization, beat. What I love about it (besides the cute British boy who gets a goth makeover) is that it addresses the many different ways fashion and beauty images are manipulated. Of course retouching is in the mix, but they also break down other tricks of the trade. Watch for a model's clothes being pinned and lighting changes that produce entirely different effects.

Amy Poehler Invites Smart Girls to Her Party

Read all about it over here.

Dear World: What Would YOUR Letter Say?

Dear World,

It's me, a girl.

What is it like growing up as a girl today? What was life like for YOU as a girl? The new "Dear World" campaign from Girls Inc. invites girls and women everywhere to write their own original letters and join together in asking for all the support and empowerment that the world has to offer.

Join the campaign:

Watch the "Dear World" ads and find out what messages girls are sending.

Submit your letter, or call 888-DEAR-WRLD to record your message to the world.

What I love most about this idea is that it challenges us to use the power of our voices to build connections and make positive changes. Think about what you want to tell the world. Share your letter here, and ask the girls in your life to share their letters with you. Let's make sure the world hears us loud and clear!

Back to School: The Brands, The Labels, and The Pressure to Have the “Right” Look

It's that time of year when girls start stressing about what to wear because they don't want to be teased and tormented at school. A new poll conducted by the British Association of Teachers and Lecturers reveals that advertising's increasing influence on kids is partly to blame for this pressure, which makes a certain set of Wal-Mart commercials I saw this weekend that much more offensive. Today I'm over at Shine talking about the ads, and offering some tips on how to help girls deal with all the brand mania. See you there.

You're Amazing! A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self

On the off chance that you haven't already heard me shouting it from the rooftops, I would like to formally announce that my book for girls is out this week!

You're Amazing! A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self is based on the Girls Inc. "Supergirl Dilemma" study, which shows that girls are feeling increasing pressures to be perfect and please everyone. Perfectionism is a major source of girls' stress (60% of girls in the study reported that they often feel stressed), low self-esteem, and poor body image. That's the bad news. The good news is that with the right tools and support systems, girls can learn to give up the quest to be "super" and start celebrating what makes them amazing. My hope is that this book will help to kick off that celebration.

I would like to say a big, big thanks to you, dear readers! Your support and kind words have meant so much to me. Speaking of amazing...you all fit the bill.

Related links:

• Read praise for You're Amazing!
• Win an autographed copy.
• Listen to a mother and daughter discuss the book.
• Become a fan on Facebook.
• Become a friend on MySpace.

Miley Cyrus: Good for Girls' Body Image

Despite the whole "stripped down naked in a blanket" Vanity Fair incident, Miley Cyrus and her after-school tween TV peers appear to be setting a positive example for girls--at least when it comes to body image. According to a new study, children's shows like Hannah Montana and That's So Raven do a better job at showing a range of body types than shows for adults do.

The study found that almost half (47 percent) of the major and minor characters on these shows were of average weight, 38 percent were below average, and 15 percent above. And while this isn't a completely accurate reflection of reality, we are talking about TV here--and it's whole lot more body diversity than what we see in prime time.

The bad news is that while kids' shows are doing a better job at getting away from the stick-thin ideal, there are still plenty of tired old stereotypes about weight. The study showed that 25% of overweight characters on these shows had no friends, and black characters were three times more likely than white characters to be depicted as overweight. [Canada.com]

Tell Me What Retouching Is.

UPDATE: Embedding has been disabled, but follow this link to watch the spot.


This one gets me every time. Spread it around because this is what every girl needs to hear. Check out the other ads in this series, and give Girls Inc. some love while you're at it.

Denise Richards Bans Fat Talk for Her Daughters' Sake

Denise Richards is on the cover of April's Shape and she tells the magazine that one of her most important roles is helping her daughters develop a healthy body image. "They'll never hear me say, 'Mommy's feeling fat today.' That kind of attitude just makes young girls grow up to be dissatisfied with their bodies," she says. She is okay with having her girls appear in a reality show, but that's another post...

Over at FitSugar, nearly a hundred women have shared their own stories of how their mothers' body image comments have positively or negatively affected their own self-esteem. The post's author agrees that moms should keep "their 'Do I look fat?' comments" to themselves, but we're wondering something else. What if instilling positive body image in our children wasn't so much about shielding them from how bad we feel about our bodies, but showing them how much we appreciate what our bodies can do for us and how comfortable we feel in our own skin? Of course in order to that, we've got to stop beating ourselves up and start getting our body image issues in check before we become moms. And yes, that will be an uphill battle in this "get your pre-baby body back quick" culture.

Curbing negative body talk in front of children is undoubtedly an important first step. But let's not lose sight of the utopian prize (we like to think big over here)--a day when moms can pass along a healthy body image because they truly feel good about themselves, and they're not just pretending or holding back because it's the right thing to do. [Fit Sugar]

"Miss Bimbo" is a Virtual Nightmare for Girls

In case you haven't heard, there's a new membership website called "Miss Bimbo," where girls can earn points and cash them in for virtual plastic surgery and diet pills while they search for rich boyfriends so they don't have to work. Is this a joke? Or perhaps a ridiculous publicity stunt to get a flood of pageviews from outraged parents? According to the Guardian, the British version of the game already has nearly 200,000 players, most of whom are girls aged between 9 and 16. There are 1.2 million players in France. Now let's look at some other numbers:

More than 333,000 adolescents 18 years or younger underwent plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures in 2005, says the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

40% of 14-to-15-year-old girls in a recent U.K study admitted they don't eat breakfast and 25% of those girls also skip lunch. Over 50% of them listed their appearance as their number one concern in life.

Sadly, the line between the real world and this frightening virtual Bimbo world is getting increasingly blurred.

"Miss Bimbo" allows girls under 18 to register with parental permission, which they obtain by asking girls to input their parent's email address--a nudge, nudge, wink, wink process that can be easily circumvented by any girl with basic knowledge of email and the internet. "At MissBimbo.com we're committed to your child's online privacy," the site reads. Okay, so they might be sending her into a lifetime of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, but rest assured! Your kid's privacy is safe in their hands.

And for the parents who knowingly allow their daughters to be members? We're thinking Child Protective Services might be interested in learning more. But then again, we do live in the country that produced Rocky the wackadoodle stage mom. No one's coming after her. Except for VH1, that is.

Happy Monday: Happy Heart Princess

We're no Cute Overload, but we're going to do our best to deliver some feel good content this week because we're burned out on bad news for the moment.

How about we start with some princesses? Truth be told, princesses typically annoy us. The Disney princess-i-fication of America is pretty darn frightening, actually. But railing against the corporate plot to sell a gazillion plastic tiaras and fluffy pink princess costumes does not change the fact that so many girls (and a shocking number of grown women) want to wear them. So instead of a total ban on princesses, we're offering up an alternative: On Being a Real Princess: Secrets of the Happy Heart Princess.

This book (and accompanying line of merchandise) is based on the idea that being a princess starts with having a happy heart. Awww. Girls get to explore some positive character traits and inspiring messages such as "A real princess can think for herself and knows the difference between right and wrong" and "A real princess knows that she can always learn from her mistakes!" That sure beats "Someday my prince will come." [Happy Heart Princess]

Girl Scouts Sell Cookies in 100-Calorie Packs With Calorie-Burning Tips for Girls

It's that time. Thin mints, Samoas (er, make that "Caramel deLites"), Peanut Butter Patties. Yum. But this year your friendly Girl Scout troop will have some new offerings, including 100-calorie packs printed with activities that girls can do to burn off the cookie calories. “Girls can burn calories and have fun with 30 minutes of activities like these: Ice Skating—126 calories. Gymnastics—72 calories…” Oh, no they didn't.

I feel for the Girl Scouts. I really do. I'm sure they've come under fire for contributing to the much-discussed childhood obesity epidemic when they're just trying to raise money for their programs by selling some sweet treats. Their ABC Smart Cookies website is clearly an attempt to show that they care about girls' health, which they shouldn't have to prove to anyone considering that the organization has been helping girls since 1912. I'm all for encouraging girls to be active, but providing calorie counting and burning tips is a slippery and dangerous slope. This seems like a glaring example of an attempt at obesity prevention that is just ripe for major backfiring. And research shows that many similar initiatives are resulting in disordered eating and an unhealthy fear of fat in kids.

To be honest, my stomach drops when I imagine girls eating their little packs of Cinna-Spins, then checking the Girl Scouts calorie counter to see how they should burn off the calories. Actually, I think I feel too sick about it to eat any cookies now. [Ken Levine] [Girl Scouts]

Doin' It for the Kids: A Tribute to Moms

Kelly over at Fitness Fixation wrote a very moving piece this week about how her six-year-old daughter is already hearing the "F" word at school. No, not that "F" word. The other one: Fat.

“You know how everyone has that extra skin and stuff at the top of their leg? Two boys pinched me there and said, ‘You’re fat.’ But I’m not, everyone has that,” Kelly's daughter reported back to her one afternoon. While her little girl didn't seem to be devastated by the comments, Kelly was enraged, frustrated, and motivated to cancel her women's magazine subscriptions.

"I get a lumpy throat if I think of a slightly older her, critically examining her legs in the mirror, wondering if they are big or jiggly and maybe she ought to eat a few less cookies and try some stupid cream and will she get dates with legs like that? Did I say lumpy throat? Make that nauseous," she writes.

There's no sugar coating it. Moms who are working every day to instill healthy body image and strong self-esteem in their children are fighting an uphill battle. But you know what? It's a battle well worth fighting. So to Kelly and all the other amazing moms out there: keep up the incredible work. Your daughters and sons will thank you.

More Eating Disorder Sufferers are Children

Children of younger and younger ages are developing eating disorders, and at least one expert is pointing to cultural pressures to be thin.

"We have seen a 300 percent increase in the number of calls from preteen patients," said Amy Gerberry, program director and therapist at Remuda Ranch's children's program. "Eating disorders are increasing rapidly in preteen girls. It's because of our culture's obsession with dieting and thinness."

"Children are being targeted with messages and products promoting diets and body image dissatisfaction," adds Gerberry. "There are more and more sexualized and objectified images of children in the media today than in the past."

Outside of treatment centers, 63% of elementary school teachers now say they are concerned with eating disorders in their classrooms. [Fox News]

What Is Your Six-Year-Old's Beauty Routine?

Beauty is big business. Companies vie for consumer loyalty, and the sooner they can convince girls that they need products and treatments to look and feel pretty, the more profits they can bank on. Forget junior high--beauty marketers are now going after girls in elementary school. According to a study conducted last year, 55 percent of 6- to 9-year-old girls said they used lip gloss or lipstick, and nearly two-thirds said they used nail polish.

Sweet & Sassy, a salon and party destination based in Texas for girls 5 to 11, includes pink limo service. And Dashing Diva franchises often offer virgin Cosmos in martini glasses along with their extra-virgin nail polish, free of chemicals, for a round of services for a birthday girl and her friends. Then there's Club Libby Lu, where little girls can dress up like Britney Spears and pretend they're paparazzi-stalked celebrities. Oy. What happened to silly cone-shaped party hats and pin the tail on the donkey? [New York Times]

Girls Rock! Trailer: Counting Down the Days Until This Opens

As the former drummer of the famed Baltimore hardcore trio Within (okay, how is it possible you've never heard of us?), I understand what some serious rocking out can do to lift a girl's spirit. I'll concede that my live performances back in high school were perhaps lacking in the area some call "skill." However, I sure did love making a lot of ear-splitting noise. Even when I couldn't find a way to verbalize all the confusion and insecurity coursing through me, music always gave me a way to turn up the volume of that inner voice I finally learned to let out. You can probably guess why I am so incredibly amped to see Girls Rock! Just try not to be charmed by this trailer. [You Tube via Feministing]

Obesity Panic Triggers Disordered Eating in Kids

By now we've all heard about the big, bad childhood obesity epidemic. In fact, we've heard so much about it that our collective fear of fat is probably hurting kids more than it's helping them.

Experts are now pointing out how school-based obesity programs can backfire when kids decide that they want to be the best in the class at not being fat, and then go on to lose too much weight. Dr. Leora Pinhas, a child psychiatrist and psychiatric director of the eating disorders program at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children, has already seen many cases like this. "It seems like whenever we decide there is an epidemic, people run around helter-skelter trying to solve the problem without really thinking about it in an organized fashion,"she says.

Of course it's not just schools where kids absorb this thin-at-all-costs message. Parents might think they are passing healthy, weight-conscious habits on to their children when in fact what they're often handing down are unhealthy weight obsessions. And for kids who are overweight, shaming and dieting just leads to more weight gain and sometimes eating disorders. A recent study shows that more than one-third of overweight girls engaged in what the researchers called “extreme weight control behaviors,” like vomiting or taking diet pills or laxatives in an attempt to lose weight.

Kids need to learn how to have healthy eating habits and a healthy self-esteem that's not wrapped up in how thin their bodies are. Unfortunately, a lot of adults have yet to figure those two out for themselves. So let's start there before we tackle the "epidemic" with programs and approaches that don't work.

"Fat Phobia Feeds Kids' Eating Disorders"
"Overweight Teens Have Extreme Dieting Habits"

Here's Looking at You, Kid: Why I Don't Tell My Two-Year-Old She Looks Beautiful

I have a two-year-old daughter. Ever since she was born, I have avoided telling her she looks beautiful. I will tell her the outfit she is wearing is beautiful on her, or how the shoes she chooses are beautiful. I use with the word "beautiful" when it comes to the drawings she makes, the music she plays, how hard she works at putting cubes together, or what a generous girl she is. I have seldom told her she looks beautiful because I believe that her looks will never constitute who she is as a person.

Over the holidays, my beloved parents came to visit us. They are gaga over their granddaughter, and they are truly the most well-intentioned grandparents you could ever imagine. When they arrived at our house, some of their first words to my daughter were, “Let us see how beautiful you are!” My daughter stared and didn’t move. They showed her how to twirl around so they could have a good look at her. I saw her taking in this new kind of attention. I watched her absorb it, react to it, and adjust her behavior to get more of it. From that point on, every time my mother or I would do her hair or put a new outfit on her, she would run into the living room and coquettishly raise her shoulders, moving her arms from side to side until she heard the confirmation she craved: “Awww, look how beautiful you are!” And so went the dance for three weeks.

First I was puzzled, then I became weary of the effects, and then it all made sense. One thing's for sure: If my child were a boy, I would not be writing this. And if females--as babies, toddlers, young girls, girls, teenagers--are constantly rewarded or chided for something as shallow as our looks, it's no wonder we grow up believing that our physical appearance is such an important key to getting positive attention and feeling successful in our lives. It's no wonder so many women's New Year's Resolutions are centered around changing their bodies and faces, and becoming more "beautiful," when what we all really need is to be rewarded for the beauty in what we do with our lives--our contributions, our creativity, our smarts, our kindness, our strength, and our compassion.

Artwork by Megan Jones, Age 7

Would You Rather Be a Role Model or a Supermodel?

Since we're into post-it activism, we love this post-it from Karen Salmansohn's book, Quickie Stickies: 100 Pick-Me-Ups for When You're Feeling Unglued.

Sadly, the "would you rather?" game is no joke when it comes to women and their body image issues. A recent Fitness magazine survey asked readers how much they would be willing to sacrifice to get to their ideal weight. The results are predictably depressing:

23% would spend a week in jail (Hey, if Paris can do it...)
23% would shave their head (Too obvious. Insert your Britney joke here.)
21% would trade ten years of their life (emphasis ours because, well, wow.) [USA Today]

There's the bad news. The good news is that more than three quarters of women are not willing to make those kinds of ridiculous sacrifices to be thin, which makes us think that maybe the world isn't as hopelessly out of whack as we sometimes fear it is. So let's pass along some body image sanity to the next generation, ladies! If you would rather be a role model than a supermodel, ask a girl in your life how she would answer these questions:

Would you rather...

Skip lunch to save calories or enjoy a good meal with good friends?

Wait in line to try out for America's Next Top Model or volunteer those hours for a cause you care about?

Be thought of as cute, pretty, and skinny or as strong, smart, and bold?

Parents: Family Meals May Lower Girls' Eating Disorder Risk

Researchers at the University of Minnesota found that adolescent girls who eat five or meals a week with their families are approximately one third less likely to engage in extreme weight control behaviors, such as making themselves vomit, taking diet pills and abusing diuretics or laxatives than girls who ate less frequently with their families.

For many girls who suffer with disordered eating, the desire for thinness is really a desire to be heard, to be accepted, and to feel like they matter in the world. In other words, it's probably not the chicken, fish, or mac & cheese at dinner that make the real difference in their lives. The meaningful benefits are in the "How was your day today?" and "What's on your mind?" convos that happen around the table. If you can't swing at least five family meals a week, make sure you're scheduling some other quality time to have those talks. [Reuters]